‘Heck, I was in queue for tickets from midnight, faced all the heat of lathis and still didn’t get the tickets; and those buggers got it online.’ This is a quite a natural feeling for them and only best thing they can expect is a heavy rain tomorrow and wash out all the yipeee moments of lucky fellows.

With full sympathy to all you lathicharged victims, I wish to have a clear sky tomorrow. You may fancy coming a sexy nurse tomorrow for you or you may watch your buddies posing for camera tomorrow.

Best of luck India. Cheers!!

Very much inspired by this story, governing body has made Facebook/Twitter account mandatory for all citizens. “Account has to be created at the time of child-birth and without a valid account we will not register a birth and he/she will not be considered as a citizen”, said a senior government officer. Teenagers have hard instructions to add their parents in friend list no matter how naughty their posts are. Also clear mandates have been given to Bollywood directors to not crap in their movies about the concepts of ‘brothers departing at kumbh-ka-mela and meeting at the climax scene’. On further asking the same government officer if they will continue to operate ‘missing person cell’, he was jumped at the idea and said “no, we don’t need it any more. See, this is a clear profit and we might consider it’s applicability in other areas where identification mechanism is required”.

Thanks Facebook, indeed!

Okay, cut the crap. Today I found one interesting link in TOI where the author has outlined the course structure of all the 7 semesters of terror trainees. No doubt article is very informative and dude has done a wonderful job compiling all this. Only thing he missed was attaching the recruitment form for terrorist camp. WTF it is. I mean, dude would you mind if I say ‘you are also a terrorist’? To me whole motive of terrorists is to spread terror and no matter what your motive is, you are also supporting their very reason.

Few words from the article:

The training programmes have become extensive and aim-specific. The training was already divided into batches and semesters but now it has become more mission and purpose oriented. It has become selective in nature with the entire focus on preparing commandos who can bring an entire city on its knees for a few days

Boy, to fuck with any training, given a gun and handful of hostages, any pig can treat himself as a lion. So what is this whole story about ’7 semesters terror training’? Are you trying to compare them with commandos?

Okay, here is the story. One Murga who had not have sex in last 57 days, brought some flowers and chocolates for his Murgi.

Murga: Hey baby, this is for you.

Murgi: Waaaaw, it’s beautiful. Thanks honey.

Murga: Anytime babe. You know how much I love you.

Murgi: I love you too. But don’t expect anything much than that. You know what I am saying.

Murga: Com’on baby. It’s been 57 days now.

Murgi: I can’t help honey. We are not being paid for doing sex. One fatty egg I deliver, and I will be out of job.

Murga: Screw these human beings. These health conscious pigs. Why can’t they just produce genetically modified babies without having sex? And those f***ers even don’t bother to create condoms for us, as if we don’t have ‘that thing’.

Murgi: (Finishing the chocolates) chocolate was yummy. Thanks honey. See ya.

This is not just a story of murga-murgi, you do see it somewhere or everywhere where someone is fucked up due to someone else sex preferences. Next, I’ll keep my mouth shut {}.

Okay, 5 mins back I clicked on a TOI link and got this. Guys we are not alone fucked up. There exist some developers who are facing this on a live 24*7 very much popular website. Imagine the amount of heat on their asses.

type Exception report

message

description The server encountered an internal error () that prevented it from fulfilling this request.

exception

org.springframework.web.util.NestedServletException: Request processing failed; nested exception is org.springframework.jdbc.UncategorizedSQLException: Hibernate operation: Cannot open connection; uncategorized SQLException for SQL [???]; SQL state [null]; error code [0]; No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] ); - nested throwable: (javax.resource.ResourceException: No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] )); nested exception is org.jboss.util.NestedSQLException: No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] ); - nested throwable: (javax.resource.ResourceException: No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] ))
	org.springframework.web.servlet.FrameworkServlet.processRequest(FrameworkServlet.java:487)
	org.springframework.web.servlet.FrameworkServlet.doGet(FrameworkServlet.java:430)
	javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:690)
	javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:803)
	org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriteFilter.doFilter(UrlRewriteFilter.java:738)
	org.jboss.web.tomcat.filters.ReplyHeaderFilter.doFilter(ReplyHeaderFilter.java:96)

root cause

org.springframework.jdbc.UncategorizedSQLException: Hibernate operation: Cannot open connection; uncategorized SQLException for SQL [???]; SQL state [null]; error code [0]; No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] ); - nested throwable: (javax.resource.ResourceException: No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] )); nested exception is org.jboss.util.NestedSQLException: No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] ); - nested throwable: (javax.resource.ResourceException: No ManagedConnections available within configured blocking timeout ( 1000 [ms] ))
	org.springframework.jdbc.support.SQLStateSQLExceptionTranslator.translate(SQLStateSQLExceptionTranslator.java:120)
	org.springframework.jdbc.support.SQLErrorCodeSQLExceptionTranslator.translate(SQLErrorCodeSQLExceptionTranslator.java:276)
	org.springframework.orm.hibernate3.HibernateAccessor.convertJdbcAccessException(HibernateAccessor.java:424)
	org.springframework.orm.hibernate3.HibernateAccessor.convertHibernateAccessException(HibernateAccessor.java:410)
	org.springframework.orm.hibernate3.HibernateTemplate.execute(HibernateTemplate.java:377)
	org.springframework.orm.hibernate3.HibernateTemplate.execute(HibernateTemplate.java:338)
	com.til.hk.dao.hibernate.ContentRecent2DaoHibernate.featuredTodayCricket(ContentRecent2DaoHibernate.java:37)
	com.til.hk.service.ContentRecent2Service.featuredTodayCricket(ContentRecent2Service.java:24)
	com.til.hk.controller.ContentNotFoundController.handleRequest(ContentNotFoundController.java:46)
	org.springframework.web.servlet.mvc.SimpleControllerHandlerAdapter.handle(SimpleControllerHandlerAdapter.java:48)
	org.springframework.web.servlet.DispatcherServlet.doDispatch(DispatcherServlet.java:857)
	org.springframework.web.servlet.DispatcherServlet.doService(DispatcherServlet.java:792)
	org.springframework.web.servlet.FrameworkServlet.processRequest(FrameworkServlet.java:475)
	org.springframework.web.servlet.FrameworkServlet.doGet(FrameworkServlet.java:430)
	javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:690)
	javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:803)
	org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriteFilter.doFilter(UrlRewriteFilter.java:738)
	org.jboss.web.tomcat.filters.ReplyHeaderFilter.doFilter(ReplyHeaderFilter.java:96)

You love someone… you marry someone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your email id…!

Very true. No?

So, how frequently you change your password? What.. You dont have any password?? Looser, you

My god, dude is truly a genius. Just consider his vision, you can shut down your wife any time she is bugging you. Also you can delete any of her bad memories when you were caught sleeping with other machines, or would they mind, I am not sure.

But dude didn’t disclose one thing and I am curious to learn that “what kind of babies will come as an output of man and machine?”. Will some laptop which will eventually grow into mainframes, will call us ‘daddy’?

Whatever happened on December 6, 1992, was a result of public anger.

Rajnath Sir Jee, this is a different version of public anger. It is called ‘Planned Anger’. In this version of ‘anger’, you collect some hundred of people across the whole country, make them all angry with almost equal magnitude and do something which further you can refer as ‘public anger’.

Theoretically this is an excellent concept, but Sir, practically it’s a bull-shit. Therefore, WTF indeed.

About 70 candidates in the third and the fourth phases of assembly elections on December 8 and 12 respectively have criminal cases, including rape and murder, pending against them

First I misread the figure 70 as 700. Had that been true, I would not have much surprised, that’s convincingly possible. I mean, having a criminal background is both necessary and sufficient condition for becoming a successful politician in Indian Democracy. No?

As far as I know, there are 3 ways of joining politics – (1) You have a criminal background, (2) You have house full of money, (3) You have inherited politics. With the fact that very limited sperms get privilege to fall in 3rd case, 1st and 2nd are very much correlated. If you are a criminal, with God’s (that God) mercy you will have money, lot of money. Therefore, a criminal full-fill both (1) & (2) criteria, hence super qualified for politics.

Why criminals are allowed in politics? Democracy sir jee, democracy. India is a democratic country so anyone can contest for election and join politics, and our system literally mean ‘anyone’ with ‘anyone’. This ‘anyone’ could be a murder, a rapist, a smuggler, anything you can think of that qualifies for ‘anyone’. BTW, this ‘anyone’ could be you and me also. But WTF, we are dude log, and dude log don’t participate in social issues. Didn’t you see our orkut status “Political View: non political” ?